The Truth About "That" Boy

There's a certain kind of boy in this world that no doubt you will encounter at some point in your life. Hopefully it won't be you that has to face the complications of "that" boy, but you may find him as a boyfriend of a friend. "That" boy is the worst kind of boy. He's the wolf in sheep's clothing. Like Satan, he prey's on his victim, slowly drawing them in. He never attacks quickly, instead he's methodical and careful in how he draws in his victims.

The first sign that you've encountered "that" boy is that he showers you with gifts and attention. That's what makes him so deceiving. Your initial impression is, "Wow! What a catch!" That's all part of his plan to draw you in and rely on him. He's not just trying to gain your favor, he's trying to gain the favor of your friends and family. Once he has captured your attention and admiration, that's when the change begins.

"That" boy will change very slowly. He will most likely start by pulling you away from your friends. He'll want all of your attention so that you'll rely only on him. Like the serpent in the Garden of Eden, he'll entice you with his words, making you question the validity of what your friends and family say, all the while assuring you that he is the all knowing one. Now he has your attention and your reliance on him. You have now started to round the corner into the most critical turn in the road.

The next part of the journey involves tearing you down. Like I said earlier, this is a slow process. He'll start by criticizing your choice in friends or maybe the way you dress. Whatever the criticism, it will start small, just a tiny snowball. However, as he gains momentum, that snowball will grow and grow until it's uncontrollably big. You'll try to slow it's momentum as it comes thrashing down the hill, but you can't. Now he's insulting your intelligence, your self worth, he has you believing that you're unlovable. The scary part is that you start to believe him. When he tells you that no one will ever love you and that you're lucky to have him because no one else would have you, you actually believe him!

One of the worst things that can happen with "that" boy, is that you not only believe him, you believe you can't live without him. Suddenly you realize that you're miserable with him, but you have so much invested, after all, he's separated you from your friends and made you completely reliant on him. Every time you try to break it off with "that" boy, he convinces you that you are not lovable and he is the best thing that every happened to you and ever will happen to you.


Let me tell you, precious daughters, you most certainly CAN live without him and are better off without him. "That" boy is insecure about himself, so he made you insecure about yourself. God created you in His image and you are beautifully and wonderfully made. Don't believe ANYTHING "that" boy says!


I have prayed everyday for you and your future spouses. I believe with all my heart that God will bring you special men that will treasure you as much as your father treasures me. The best way to avoid "that" boy is to remember how special you are and that God loves you. You don't need to find self value in "that" boy, you need to find it in God.


My personal encounter with "that" boy has lived with me since I met him, but with experience, comes wisdom. I have no doubt that God has used and will continue to use that encounter to help others avoid "that" boy. Although "that" boy affected me deeply for many years, I've chosen not to continue believing his lies, instead I stand on God's truth. I pray that if you ever encounter "that" boy yourself, you will have the wisdom to recognize his true identity and run the opposite direction. I love you dear daughters.

You Deserve to be Cherished

To my sweet daughters, it's been way to long since I last wrote to you. Whenever you read this, if you think back in time, you'll remember how busy we were when I wrote this to you. My neglecting of your blog is only because I have been showering you with my time. :)

As I've mentioned before, I have been praying for your future spouses since before you were born. I often wonder about them. Who are they? Do we already know them? Are they living a good life or is life difficult for them? Most of all, I pray that they are growing to be God honoring men. I pray that they are growing to be fully devoted followers of Christ, just as I pray that for you. I believe that if they are fully devoted to Christ, then they will treat you like gold! The Bible is clear on how men should treat their wives, therefore, they'll treat you as God intends a husband to treat his wife.

Recently I was reading Ephesians 5:22-30 and couldn't help but think how much the secular world frowns upon this idea of marriage. Verse 22 says, "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord." It goes on to say that the husband is the head of the wife. I think so many non believers get stuck on this idea that wives are to be submissive and take whatever the husband dishes at them. I, however, don't think that's what scripture is saying at all! If you read on in verse 25, Paul says, "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her." Husbands are to be equally respectful to their wives as wives are to their husbands. Most of all, what scripture is saying through words like, "as to the Lord" and "as Christ," is that marriage is to be GOD CENTERED! A marriage is set up to fail if God is not the center. Although marriage has been fairly easy for your father and me, even with God as the center, it won't always be easy, but it will be good. That's because God is perfection and will bless your marriage if you honor Him.

Another key point that I don't want you to miss is found in verse 27, "So that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish." What I'm about to say is extremely important! If you are dating a young man and he is not living for Christ, run! If he pressures you about anything, run! If he says the only way you can prove your love to him is by sleeping with him, RUN FAST! A true, good man will TREASURE you and RESPECT you. A true, good man wants nothing more than to meet you at the alter completely cleansed and pure because he loves God and he loves you and wants to honor you both.

Finally, I conclude with a short, simple verse that I think says it all. Verse 30 says, "Because we are members of His body." What I think Paul is saying is that husbands and wives treat each other as the Bible says because we belong to God. God lives in us and wants nothing more than to have our hearts! I love you!

"For Such a Time as This"

It’s been quite awhile since I posted a blog for my sweet girls. It seems I’ve had trouble managing my time well and have been so busy keeping up with all that I’d like to “keep up” with. Rest assured, loved ones, that just because I don’t get something written on the blog for you, you’re never far from my heart and mind. Today I want to talk to you about God’s plans. I’ve been attending my Women’s Bible Study and we’re currently working through Beth Moore’s study “Esther.” I’m only half way through it but it has weighed heavily on my heart how God calls us for “such a time as this.” Sometimes God will call us to places, physical or emotional places, because He is going to need us in that place to accomplish His work. For Esther, it was as queen of the Persian Empire. She was chosen to be queen by the king after a lengthy process during which she found favor in the king’s eyes. As an orphan raised by her cousin, Mordecai, she hid her identity as a Jew from the king at the request of Mordecai. To make a long story short, Mordecai upset the king’s “right hand man,” Haman, by not bowing down to him. Haman then convinced the king to put to death all Jews in the kingdom. You see, God placed Esther in the royal family “for such a time as this.” She alone could convince the king to spare the Jews. This was not an easy task for Esther, but God equipped Esther and placed her just where she needed to be.

There will be times in your life where God will put you in a place “for such a time as this.” It may not be as influential and weighty as Queen of Persia, but none-the-less as important. When God places you in these places, they may be really tough places, but rest assured, God will equip you and guide you every step of the way and through the process, GOD WILL BE GLORIFIED!

By the time you read this, the following event will be a distant event in the past, but I want to share with you a time just a couple of years ago that God placed me somewhere for “such a time as this.” Our family spent 5 years at a church that God called us to so that we could accomplish His will for us during that period of our lives. A lot of wonderful things came from that church. We grew in our walk with the Lord in our time there and it’s also where we met some of our closest friends and, most notably, our “extended family,” the O’Malley family. It was a quaint little church of about 200 people, give or take 50 people, depending on the season. A few years into our time there, God called me to be a part of the staff. Dad and I had no doubt that was where God wanted me. My time on staff started out beautifully. God was teaching me so much about Himself and myself and I loved having a part time job after being out of the workforce for so many years to be your mother full time. However, after about 4-5 months after joining the staff, God began to open my eyes to some things that just weren’t right with the pastor. What followed was 1 very difficult year, but I had to trust that God had a plan for me and called me there for “such a time as this.” Although the church was God’s church and his Hand was most definitely at work in the lives of the people there, the problem still needed to be addressed. I believe with all my heart that the pastor was a very broken man that needed God’s healing, however, he was resistant and blinded to it and was surrounded by people that had enabled him to continue in a destructive path for a very long time. Although many people had been deeply wounded by him, there had yet to be a time that anyone truly stepped up and spoke out against the entire situation. God not only empowered me to speak up, but He also empowered a group of people around me to also speak up. Together, and with A LOT of prayer, we followed God’s gentle urging and spoke up because God had called us “for such a time as this.” We did what God called us to do and then we stepped back to let God do what He needed to do. It was NOT an easy time for me, but God directed me to TRUST Him and move on.

You will experience times in your life that will be difficult, hurtful and painful, but remember that God has you exactly where He needs you to be. He has called you for “such a time as this.” I promise you that whatever the situation may be, you will walk away stronger in the Lord because of it.

The Gift of Forgiveness

I've lived long enough to have my share of experiences where apologies are owed either to me or from me. Humbleness and humility are not always easy to master. As a follower of Christ, I pray regularly that I learn to practice these qualities well. As a mother, I offer forgiveness freely to you, my daughters, just as our heavenly father offers it to us. I'm also quick to apologize to you when necessary not just because I owe you an apology but also because I want you to see that forgiveness is a beautiful gift for both the forgiver and the forgiven. In fact forgiveness is often more healing for the person offering it than it is for the person receiving it. My heart is that I never hurt someone requiring me to apologize, but I recognize that I am human and all humans, some more than others, are sinful by nature. I pray that I am ALWAYS aware when my actions result in the need for me to humble myself and apologize.

So, what do you do when the apology that is owed to you never comes? By far my hardest time with this concept came several years ago when we realized that the only way we could move forward and regain our lives after Dad's accident was to forgive the drunk driver that forever changed our lives when he hit Dad and severely injured his spine. That young drunk had absolutely no remorse for his actions, but our anger was holding us back from embracing the new life God had for us. After a lot of prayer, God freed us from that anger and opened our hearts to forgive him. It was life transforming for us once we forgave him.

Occasionally there will be times that you may be hurt by another Christian. I'll admit from my own experience, the pain can be much deeper when it comes from a Christian rather than an unbeliever. I tell you this because they may not ask for forgiveness despite the fact that they serve the same God you serve. All you can do is pray. Pray that God would open their eyes to the pain they caused you and pray that God will give you a heart of forgiveness even if that apology is never offered. I promise you, forgiving them will heal you more than you could ever imagine.

Girls, please know how much you are loved and although I pray regularly that you won't have to experience the pain that life can bring, God will use all the pain that comes your way to mold you and grow you into the woman He desires you to be. Embrace His love, forgive freely and live a life of humbleness and humility so that forgiveness becomes a natural characteristic of your life.

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.
Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's
power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

Grace is a word I've used to define my life. By "grace," I mean God's unbelievable gift of forgiveness despite my unworthiness. It took me a long time to truly wrap my mind around God's grace. It wasn't until my early 30's that I completely let go of the guilt and shame I'd carried with me up until that point. Although I had been a Christian for awhile at that point, I hadn't released everything to Him. As much as I loved the Lord and had faith in Him, I was still holding onto several aspects of my life; I went with His Will only when it was my will and for some unexplainable reason, I just couldn't let go of that guilt and shame. Although the circumstances that caused that shame were so painful, I'd lived with that pain so long that it had become a part of me. It wasn't until the months following John's accident that I poured myself into prayer and scripture in a way I never had before. During that time, God convicted my heart so much that I slowly released my firm grasp on my guilt and shame. I AM a child of God and God loves me NO MATTER what. My sins died with Christ on that cross and I've been washed white as snow, as long as I'm willing to receive it. Wow! How sweet it is to rest in His grace!

In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, in
accordance with the riches of God's grace. Ephesians 1:7

Around my mid 30's a new word started to define my life. That word is redemption. God's redemption didn't replace His grace, rather, it complimented it. As you see from the verse above in Ephesians, grace and redemption go hand-in-hand. I know God's redeeming love has always been with me, but around that time in my life, the circumstances of that period of my life gave redemption a whole new meaning to me. I was walking through another "growth spurt," in other words, I was going through a difficult time where God was molding me and growing my faith. Some of the things I had began to "expect" to always be there for me, were being moved around and even some were being completely removed from my life. I'm sure many of you can relate to how uncomfortable it is to be removed from your "comfort zone." That's when God's sweet redemption was poured out on me. Our God is a REDEEMER and whatever He takes from us is for our own good and He is ALWAYS faithful to redeem and ALWAYS gives back in great measure. In my case, I count everything I lost as well worth all He gave back to me because of my faith and obedience to His call on my life.

Therefore, sweet daughters, please know that nothing you ever experience in life keeps you from the grace and remption of God's amazing love. Absolutely nothing can keep you from your Heavenly Father that loves you so much that He spread out His arms and died for YOU!

Letting Go....

"The past should not be a place where we live, but something from which we learn." -Stormie Omartian

I read this quote the other day from "The Power of a Praying Wife." This quote had a profound effect on me as I'm currently in a season of life where I have truly let go of many of the troubles in my past that I've carried with me for a very long time. High School is not necessarily all happy memories for me. In fact, those were some of my most difficult years in my life. Many would probably be surprised that I feel this way since I appeared to do just fine with friends and I was even a cheerleader, but the appearance differed greatly from my reality. My lack of self confidence at the time, combined with depression and not ever feeling that I FULLY fit in with my group of friends, had left me with hard feeling about that era of my life. From the moment my daughters were born, I began to wonder if their high school years would be as painful as mine. That is something that I have had to let go of and give it to God. But lately, I've been able to let go of many of those not-so-fond memories and refocus my mind on the good times. Believe it or not, this came about through Facebook and our ever redeeming Lord. I originally joined FB well over a year ago at the urging of my young coworkers that I worked with at my former church. When God called me away from that church, I began to realize that about 90% of my FB friends were from that church. That realization left me with the feeling that I was walking away from all my friends, even though that wasn't reality. Thus began my journey of reconnecting with people from my past. I started out "friending" some former classmates that I grew up with from elementary school through high school. Then, before I knew it, that group kept growing and we were sharing so many funny stories from long ago. I began to realize, that there were plenty of happy times, I had just let them be overshadowed by the unhappy times. I also realized that the passing of nearly 20 years, causes people to let go of old grudges and refocus on who we are today. Best of all, the person I am today is a very happy person, confident in myself and filled with God-given purpose for my life. Along with connecting with childhood friends, I also began reuniting with old college and sorority friends. We share stories and old photos and I laugh.....A LOT!!!

My purpose in sharing this with you is so that you can find comfort in that whatever heartache you are dealing with now, will come to pass and God will always be faithful to redeem! He most definitely redeemed me by letting go of the old and welcoming in the new relationships I've established with the same people from long ago.

Marriage Prayer

Since my purpose for this blog is for my daughters to learn and grow from all I have learned in life, I have decided to share with them something special I do for them nearly every day. So, here we go:

I have been praying since you were born that God would prepare the perfect husband for each of you. As much as I pray that you will grow up to be Godly women, I think it’s just as important that your future spouses be Godly men. When I met Dad, both of us had grown up in the church, but neither one of us were truly walking in relationship with God. We didn’t fully hand our lives over to God until a few years down the road. We now look back on that time and realize that even though we loved each other, we couldn’t fully experience true love until we put God first in our lives and loved ourselves for who God created us to be. We have watched as several of our friends have gone through divorce and the heartbreak it brings to everyone involved. I think, actually, I KNOW that the reason Dad and I still love each other, even more now than when we first married, is because we have made God the center of our marriage.

It is so important that you only date young men that love the Lord. I pray that you love the Lord so much that you won’t compromise on this. Only a man who loves the Lord and wants Him at the center of your relationship will fully love you for who you are, show you the utmost respect and be the kind of husband you deserve in your lives.

So, I know that marriage is still years away for both of you, but I pray now that God is working in the lives of my future son-in-laws. I also pray that someday when you have kids of your own, you will do the same for them. I love you! Mom